Have you ever been angry before?

Think back to the last time you felt anger. Who was involved? A family member, friend, coworker, boss—or maybe someone you’d consider an enemy?

What happened? Did they say something that hurt you? Do something that felt disrespectful? Maybe they crossed a line with someone you love.

Now, bring that situation to mind. Why did it make you angry?
Did you feel like your choice was taken from you?
Did you feel unheard, unloved, or unwanted?
Did it feel like your love and sacrifice were taken for granted?
Was it a moment of deep injustice?

You might be feeling that same anger rising again. If so—my apologies. That wasn’t my intent. I simply wanted to help you connect personally with what comes next. But if your anger has resurfaced, then this might be exactly what you need to hear.

Here’s the key idea: anger itself is not the problem.

Yes, sometimes anger points to deeper issues in our hearts—but that's a conversation for another time. For now, know this: feeling anger is a normal human experience. It’s how we respond to anger that reveals the health—or lack of health—inside of us.

So don't beat yourself up for being angry. Show yourself grace. Then, once you’ve done that, pay attention to your response—because your response is where transformation happens.

I recently worked with a client wrestling with unhealthy patterns rooted in anger. As we unpacked their responses, one simple insight made a big difference—and I think it can help you too.

Never respond from your anger.

Responding from anger often means reacting defensively. And when we feel defensive, it's usually because we feel unsafe, like we’re being attacked. Defensiveness is rooted in self-protection, but it rarely leads to healing.

Instead of reacting defensively, I want to encourage you to go on the offense.

Not revenge.
Not payback.
But purposeful action—a response that promotes wholeness and health in yourself and others.

😤 → 🤝 Responding to Anger with Action

Here’s a coaching prompt that may help:
​When anger rises, ask yourself:​
​“How can I encourage, serve, or respect in this moment?”

Then choose one of these three wise responses:

1. Encourage instead of argue.​
Speak in a way that honors the people involved. Practice calm, forward-moving communication. When you guide the moment toward unity, you give the gift of encouragement—right in the middle of what could’ve been a blow-up. That’s powerful.

2. Serve instead of control.​
Control often shows up when we feel powerless—but it's only healthy when we apply it to ourselves. Trying to control others usually makes things worse. Instead, ask: How can I add value here? How can I be good to the person or the moment? Choosing to serve is the better kind of power.

3. Respect instead of lash out.​
Every human being is made in the image of God. That includes the person who frustrated you. You don’t own them—they belong to God. And because they belong to Him, respecting them honors Him.
Anger may be valid—but dishonor never is.

So the next time anger starts to rise, don’t just react.
Pause.
Breathe.
And ask, How can I bring good into this moment?

You may find that the strongest thing you can do is not to fight—but to love wisely.

Dewayne & Wendy